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Global warming is freezing me to death

Count me solidly among the ‘˜climate change deniers’. I am sure Al Gore would ridicule me for denying the science if he had time to drop by in his carbon-spewing private jet. I guess I would have to listen to Big Al. I mean he invented the internet and all. Ever since I managed, with big assists from God and the fine folks at the Medical Center of Central Georgia, to beat back MRSA and acute kidney failure in 2011, I have been cold. My normal temperature is no longer 98.6 degrees. It is 97.2 degrees. That 1.4 degree deficit and a permanently flushed face are the only physical scars I carry from the ordeal. Believe me, that 1.4 degrees makes a difference. When it is hot, I can stay relatively cool. When it is cold, I get very cold – so cold, in fact, that I started wearing socks. So, I was kinda looking forward to a little global warming but, alas, there is none. There is ice and snow in our 10-day forecast as I write this and folks up north are buried under several feet of global warming. Bless their hearts. You can find all sorts of stats to prove or disprove global warming. I found these. Feel free to refute me with yours as you stroll around the house in your Speedo in February. Earth warmed during the period 1940-75 but the temperature has been flat since then. Kids will graduate from high school this year who have never experienced warming in their lifetimes. Over 31,000 scientists have signed a petition arguing humans do not cause global warming or cooling for that matter. Another 1000 are on record as saying there is no warming at all. We hear about glaciers melting away when, in fact, arctic ice has expanded by 50% since 2012. Those who projected we would be boiling in our own juices by now used models that have failed miserably. This comes from former NASA scientist Dr. Roy Spencer. I would assume NASA hires pretty smart folks and would note employment there is one of the few things not on Big Al’s resume. You see, Big Al predicted that the arctic would be gone by 2013. Even more interesting is that another former NASA guy, James Hansen, predicted that the Westside Highway in New York would be underwater by now. Those folks are high, dry, buried under snow and freezing their yankee derrieres off right this minute. So, the global warming cultists are on the run. They will tell you that all this snow is actually a result of warming trends. That is oddball science at its best. Maybe they can hire Brian Williams to be their lead spokesman. I hear he is looking for a new gig and he’s battle tested. Meanwhile, I am about to freeze to death. Send more socks. Walter Geiger is editor and publisher of The Herald Gazette.

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