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Turn the channel while you’re up…

In my opinion, Friday and Saturday are bad television times. I like to watch House on Mondays, American Idol on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and a string of NCIS on Thursday. Saturday I was talking to a friend of mine about the television shows “in our day.” We always refer to them as the good old days, you know. The more we talked, the more ridiculous we sounded. She never noticed it. I never mentioned it. I decided I would just write about it. AS you know by now, I like to publicize my stupidity. We originally got on the subject, as many old timers do, blaming the fall of American families on new television shows. ”Yes sir, the dysfunctional families of today are caused because they do not have the respect for family ties that we had in our day.” She left, and I started writing. My Three Sons (A widower who raises three sons and a later adopted one with a male housekeeper and a dog, no Mom), My Two Dads (Two men competed over the love of the same woman thirteen years ago, she died, so both men now compete for the love of the daughter, they do not know which is the biological Father), Mister Ed ( A man and his wife move to the country, have no children but a talking horse came with the place) The Man Who Never Was (A U.S. secret agent looked exactly like a millionaire playboy. The KGB attempted to kill the spy but mistakenly killed the millionaire instead. The spy then took the identity of the millionaire and continued to work undercover while living the good life), Leave it to Beaver ( Theodore Cleaver is a mischievous little brother and son), Lassie ( A beautiful, smart Collie dog and a little stupid boy named Timmy that got caught under the same tractor every week), Dennis the Menace (Terrible kid that lived next door to The Wilson’s), Bonanza (Three sons and a Dad lived on The Ponderosa with a Chinese cook and no Mom), Petticoat Junction (A widow and three daughters live in a hotel with a feeble-minded Uncle Joe), The Munsters (The father looked remarkably like the Frankenstein monster. His wife appeared to be a vampire. His son looked like a “wolf-boy”) The Addams Family (They’re creepy and they’re kooky, Mysterious and spooky, They’re all together ooky, The Addams Family) Family Affair (A rich bachelor living in a Fifth Avenue penthouse apartment in Manhattan. With a “Gentleman’s Gentleman”, Mr. French, to see after his every need! Two Nieces and a Nephew turned up at his door, their parents were both killed in an accident.) ”Oh yeah, we had that family thing going on, didn’t we?” To make myself feel a little better, I watched an old Superman movie. My Hero. It’s a bird, it’s a plane. Then I just had to notice it…. Someone was shooting at my Hero. The bullets bounced off his muscular chest. The bad guy ran out of bullets and threw the gun at Superman. Superman ducked. Why did he do that? It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s an idiot! Oh well, Come and listen to a story about my Uncle named Jed…… ————————————— Submitted by Sheila Tolley

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