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You may be a liberal if…

By Dr. Spencer Price If you have enough free time to spend days or even weeks wearing the same smelly clothes, sleeping on the streets, and relieving yourself in public while protesting how unfair the world is (but only, of course, if you’re not schizophrenic). If you think life doesn’t begin at conception. If you think ‘The View’ isn’t stacked to the left. If you think Barbara Streisand or Matt Damon ever actually knew what they were talking about when it came to politics. If you think America is better off today than it was three years ago. If reading Vogue or Cosmopolitan ‘fills’ you more than a good lunch. If you are a hypocritical carnivore. If you didn’t know that it is easier to imitate than to create. If you didn’t know that the weak fear the strong, but the strong fear the intelligent. If you didn’t know that being a ‘victim’ is an industry. If it never occurred to you that tax cuts benefit the rich more because the rich pay more taxes. If you didn’t know that the average ‘poor’ family in America has at least one car, two TVs with cable or satellite, a house with at least three bedrooms and two bathrooms, a cell phone for every family member above age 10, and at least one TV with a video game device attached. If you think the Constitution of the United States mandates a separation of church and state. If you didn’t know that Hollywood, in general, pokes fun at (and is actually out to undermine) Christianity, traditional family values, and the military. If you aren’t afraid to make fun of a Christian but you are afraid to make fun of a fundamentalist Islamist (of course, if this is true of you, then you would also be known as a coward). If you think that cultural relativism excuses ritual brutality toward women including genital mutilation, honor killing, and execution for infidelity. If you think that Warren Buffet is actually going to pay more in income taxes than he actually has to regardless of what he says on television. If you didn’t know that real choice for women isn’t whether or not to have an abortion but, rather, whether or not to get pregnant in the first place. If you think it is society’s responsibility to pay for children born to those who choose not to pay for the children themselves. If you think society shouldn’t stand up and demand that these parents provide for these children. If you didn’t know that it is the providing for a child that makes you a man, not the fathering of one.

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